Break On Through

This morning I think I had a breakthrough. Not in my weight loss, (clearly, the scale has gone up - especially after those cookies yesterday), but in my thinking.

As I was laying in bed this morning, just having woke up, I took a moment to prepare myself for all the things that could tempt me today, and how I will avoid them.

Then I got to thinking, why is it that I have been stuck at this weight for so long? I mean, I lost 60 lbs! Why can't I lose the rest? What does being at this weight do for me? I asked myself.

Well, one thing I always worry about is being judged (who doesn't?). And being at this weight, in my mind, gives people a reason to judge me based on my weight, and not based on the person I really am. If they judge me cause of my weight, they never have a chance to judge my personality, and I would be crushed if someone didn't like me because of who I really am.

So, I've been maintaining this weight (clinging to it), to protect myself from being judged for who I am.

I think I've come a long way with this little issue since I was in high school, but I think a little bit of this thinking still remains.

Being aware of this is the first step toward breaking this habit of thought. I'll have to do some more thinking on this.

Down With The Sickness

So, of course I have been making fun of my family for having this horrible cold, because I usually don't catch it - but I should have known, being around them all the time, that it would catch up to me.

It's really not fair when you're the most healthy person in the house, and you never bring home colds, but the ones that you do get, you catch it from them.

I remember, I think it was last winter, I was the one to bring home the cold, and they all caught it. Needless to say, I was pleased with myself.

This is a pretty rough cold though, so I hope it doesn't last long so I can get my butt back in the gym. It especially sucks since I was planning on going for 2 hours today. Maybe I'll just get the one in.

Until then, I'll be doing everything I can think of to stay as healthy as I can, and hopefully get rid of this thing in less than a week!

This Is How We Do It

This is my second attempt at a blog, and my hundredth attempt at weight loss (at least).

I feel so hopeless that I didn't even make a New Year's resolution this year, except the be more positive. So, in sticking with my resolution I am making my 100th attempt, and doing this right!

I have a gym membership, and new running shoes in hand, and though a recent back (re)injury has had me out for two weeks, I am very ready to get back to the gym! Right now I could come up with at least 100 reasons as to why it's difficult to get to the gym and work out, or eat right, but those are what have gotten me here.

I have literally been trying to lose weight for ten years! 60 pounds have released me from their grasp, but 50 more are holding on for dear life. And they should be afraid! Cause I am going to shake them ALL off!

Tomorrow I want to get in the gym for two hours, and I am going in, even if I have to force myself off the computer chair and though the doors. That's actually the hardest part. Once I get the ball rolling, it's so much easier.

My goal for the rest of the night is not to eat any more JUNK! NO!