This morning I think I had a breakthrough. Not in my weight loss, (clearly, the scale has gone up - especially after those cookies yesterday), but in my thinking.
As I was laying in bed this morning, just having woke up, I took a moment to prepare myself for all the things that could tempt me today, and how I will avoid them.
Then I got to thinking, why is it that I have been stuck at this weight for so long? I mean, I lost 60 lbs! Why can't I lose the rest? What does being at this weight do for me? I asked myself.
Well, one thing I always worry about is being judged (who doesn't?). And being at this weight, in my mind, gives people a reason to judge me based on my weight, and not based on the person I really am. If they judge me cause of my weight, they never have a chance to judge my personality, and I would be crushed if someone didn't like me because of who I really am.
So, I've been maintaining this weight (clinging to it), to protect myself from being judged for who I am.
I think I've come a long way with this little issue since I was in high school, but I think a little bit of this thinking still remains.
Being aware of this is the first step toward breaking this habit of thought. I'll have to do some more thinking on this.
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